Many times in my life, I’ve been ashamed, embarrassed, or just plain dissatisfied with my own ‘self’, my own being, my own performance or actions. Frankly, I have more of a tendency to faltering, falling short, or certainly disappointing those around me and it IS disheartening, discouraging, and certainly unsatisfactory to me (I know I can be/do better). So, I’d like to hide, run, avoid, even just ‘change the subject’ in my life… not let you ‘see me this way’… not be exposed to the obvious failing, your disappointment, the shame. To hide, seems the best solution, the best resolve…
But my redeemer lives!
Besides… where can I really EVER go, that He is not there already? As Psalms 139:7-10 reads; “Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? (8) If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. (9) If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; (10) Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.” Seriously… if you just wanna ‘get away’, this reads like it is not possible to hide/get-away from the Lord. Just as well, I am sure, but it CAN be frustrating, since you just want to be alone and sort of ‘lick your wounds’ in peace-n-quiet.
After-all though, we know not the trail that lies before us, and tend to get self-absorbed in the ‘now’ of it all, in the ‘woe is me’, or even the simplest of ‘it ain’t no big thing’ denial of our life. But, the Lord is strong and mighty. He holds us close, yet lets us loose to ‘run’. Still, as the Psalmist noted, where CAN we go that He is not already there?
Face the obvious. Surrender to His calling, His leading, His gentle fellowship of love, of peace, of life itself… enjoy His presence… for WHERE ever are you going to go and avoid Him, anyway? As noted in Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.” He ‘has’ your best interest at heart! If you can, please read Genesis 16:7-14. It’s just too lengthy to include here, but the gist is the same; Wither Thou Goest, there is the Lord.
Please don’t run/hide from Him. Adam and Eve tried that, and it broke His heart. Come out from hiding; face the music, as it were, and experience true love, restoration, and certainly His forgiveness.